A personal story from Talkin’ Birds Ambassador Bill Bertke of Independence, KY
Many of us get into birding for a variety of reasons. And typically it's not just ONE reason. As for me, I got into birding for several reasons. Initially, I enjoyed birding for the photography challenge. With that came the challenge of finding and photographing new (to me) species. At some point, I realized that I enjoyed the time spent with nature, outdoors, often by myself. And with that came finding peace; a mental break, if you will. An escape from things that were so ugly in my mind. An escape from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).
I am a retired police officer. After my 20 years in law enforcement, I'm left with unhealthy mental images. I can tuck those images away for a time, but there are things that can provoke, or "trigger," those memories and send me into a dark hole. For a long time, I dealt with my PTSD by withdrawing from everything around me. It was hard to go to work. I wouldn't contact my family or return calls because I didn't want to bother anyone with my issue, and I really had no desire to contact anyone anyway. That was what I did for several years. It worked, but it wasn't really helping me get over anything. I just pushed it all to the back burner until it came forward again.
Thankfully, these days PTSD is getting more and more widely accepted as a real problem. I was able to attend a week-long Post Critical Incident Seminar held by the Kentucky Department of Criminal Justice Training. It was the very first class ever offered to police retirees in the state. I attended in October of 2018 along with my girlfriend Jenny, who cared enough to want to be a part of it with me, knowing I needed it. Many currently employed officers attended, but only a handful of retirees. We shared our stories and our reasons why we were there. Some officers were dealing with one particular incident. Others, like myself, had many incidents that kept creeping up on them. After being separated into groups facilitated by professionals in PTSD, we were individually assessed to see what sort of positive treatment plan might work.
My recommendation was to try EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I won't go into a full explanation of EMDR therapy here, but in short it teaches you to tell your brain to “file away” things it doesn't know what to do with and replace them with something else. So I learned over time to file away my most horrific images and to replace them with ones that that brought me peace and comfort. And wouldn't you know, I chose birds.
Birds are my peace. I can say with certainty that when I am birding I have NOTHING on my mind except the birds. Those moments when I sense a trigger, or wake up in a sweat with heart racing from a horrible dream, I plan to make an escape birding. I'll often grab a camera, find a spot out back by the creek or up the hill in the front with the trees. Then I'll sit and get lost with the birds. It doesn't take much. A cardinal, a chickadee, a titmouse—that's all I need to see. Sometimes I'll spend hours, other times just minutes. If it's a bad weather day, I'll get online and immerse myself in all things birds. I have the same outcome either way. I don't get drowned in that funk that could last days, or even weeks, of just wanting to be alone and stay in bed.
It's funny how birding has come to be what it is to me. I still enjoy the challenges of getting the perfect shot and seeing a life-lister, but what my mind enjoys most is being able to see beauty instead of violence.